Is it oversaturated, or is it your ego?

Hypothetically speaking let’s say you and I are grabbing a coffee, complaining about the things we love the least about our jobs and you share this aspirational dream to do some said thing.

Let’s say you’ve only seen it done once before or maybe you’ve seen it done 1000 times, but you have an innate internal desire to bring it to life, your way.

I’m dialed in. Fully invested.

And then you say, “but it’s a saturated market, you know? or “it’s never been done before so it feels impossible” or “everyone has already done it so there’s no point.”

The easy reply for me could be, “true, but babe, you have something so insanely special to share that only you’re capable of” – predictable. Chances are I’m not saying that, although yes, it is true.

The way I see it, it’s your ego.
Two things to notice:

1. Your ego doesn’t want to join the club of “everyone’s doing it” because you won’t be special and it will be harder to “penetrate” (honey this isn’t the 19th century and you’re not Thomas Edison).

2. More than not wanting to do something that’s already been done, you’re terrified to do something that’s never been done. That no one has attempted.

Either way you slice it you’re operating from a place of fear.

Why? Because we look to society to confirm that success is possible.
Because our ego was developed for us when we were young, to protect us.

As kids, we were exposed to experiences that programed our subconscious beliefs into thinking, “I need to do xyz to be loved, to be accepted, to be successful, to be desired”, to be whatever. And then all of those beliefs turn into a persona, into an ego, that deems what we subconsciously believe is possible for us in this life.

Let’s say your ego is this voice in your head. Convincing you to do things or talking you out of them. Most people think about that voice as something separate from them – which gives it individualized power.

Try to imagine that voice almost like a copilot in the passenger seat. That intrusive voice is still on the journey with you but at no point are you letting it drive.

Usually, if we are being honest, the opposite is more common. We are in the car but our ego is driving us. And along with our dreams and desires we are left hiding because it’s its “safer” to do so.

And that’s what brought me to realize that my ego isn’t the devil on my shoulder, it isn’t some bad guy invading our peace. It’s an imaginary friend that joined us early on to try and protect us.

So how do we return the favor? By taking micro actions that lead us toward peeling back those old stories of how to remain safe, and proving to your younger self that you can be afraid and do it anyway.

If you’ve gotten this far and you’re entertained but you’re thinking to yourself, “I don’t have an ego, this doesn’t apply to me.” Ask yourself some of these questions:

How often are you passing judgement of people who have made bold or even micro moves in their life?

–Are you easily triggered when people ask you about what you do/what you’re doing?

–Do you find yourself feeling the need to over explain or justify the choices you make: whether that be about people, relationships, work, lifestyle, etc. ?

–Do you feel tension whenever someone brings up a past version of you?

–Do you have a hard time authentically celebrating other peoples growth or success?

–Do you experience feelings like resentment, envy, defensiveness, irritability when you see someone doing something you wished you did or having something you wish was yours?

See, none of us are exempt from ego. We all just have very different relationships with ours.

I encourage you to try to face yours so that your desires have a real shot at becoming your reality. Your life, your car. You’re driving.

Happier you’re here,
Kenny