You’ll Never Get More Unsolicited Advice Than When You’re Pregnant
The Advice Isn’t Always Wrong…But It Isn’t Always Yours
Here’s the part that took me a while to understand:
Most unsolicited advice isn’t malicious.
It’s projection.
It’s someone trying to make meaning of their experience by placing it onto yours.
It’s someone soothing their own anxiety.
It’s someone reliving a chapter of their life they haven’t fully processed.
But even well-intended advice can feel intrusive when:
You didn’t ask
It contradicts your intuition
It undermines your confidence
It creates doubt where there was none
Pregnancy is vulnerable enough without becoming a public forum.
There is a moment in pregnancy when you realize something quietly unsettling:
Everyone has an opinion about your body, your choices, your baby, your timeline, your instincts - and many of them feel entitled to share it.
Sometimes gently.
Sometimes loudly.
Sometimes under the guise of “help.”
And almost never when you asked.
It Starts Earlier Than You Think
It begins the moment pregnancy becomes visible - or even suspected.
What you should eat.
What you shouldn’t eat.
How much weight you’re gaining.
How little weight you’re gaining.
Whether you’re exercising too much.
Whether you’re resting enough.
Whether you’re “still working?”
Whether you’re “doing too much.”
It doesn’t matter how informed, grounded, or intentional you are…advice will arrive anyway.
Often from people who:
Had one very different pregnancy
Gave birth decades ago
Read something once
Or simply feel like sharing
What I’ve Learned to Hold Instead
I didn’t learn to block advice entirely - that felt unrealistic and defensive.
Instead, I learned to filter.
I ask myself:
Does this person know me?
Do they understand my body, my values, my circumstances?
Does this advice feel grounding…or destabilizing?
If it doesn’t pass that test, I let it move through without taking residence.
Not everything needs to be debated.
Not everything needs a response.
Not everything needs to be absorbed.
